Weigh-In Weeks 74 - 76

Week 74 - Missed (Working)
Week 75 - Missed (Shamefully avoided weigh-in due to not being on plan!) :(
Week 76 - 9.5 lbs (4.31kg) GAIN

No Awards this week. (Except the Mickey Mouse badge for actually going to weigh-in! :P)

Started at 28 stone 13 lbs (405 lbs / 183.71 kg)
Currently 18 stone 4.5 lbs (256.5 lbs / 116.35 kg)
1st Short Term Target 26 stone (364 lbs / 165.11 kg) (Acheived this 18/04/2011)
2nd Short Term Target 22 stone (308 lbs / 139.71 kg) (Acheived this 04/08/2011)
3rd Short Term Target 18 stone (252 lbs / 114.31 kg) (Acheived this 08/12/2011)
4th Short Term Target 16 stone (224 lbs / 101.6 kg) (hope to reach this by 30/09/2012)
Long Term Target 14 stone (196 lbs / 88.9 kg) (hope to reach this by 31/12/2012)

The losses have gone as follows:
2011 (47 wks): 10st 3lbs (143 lbs / 64.86 kg)
Jan12 (4wks): 19 lbs (8.62 kg)
Feb12 (4wks): 7 lbs (3.18kg GAIN
Mar12 (5wks): 8 lbs (3.63 kg)
Apr12 (4wks): 6 lbs (2.72 kg) GAIN
May12 (5wks): 9 lbs (4.08 kg) GAIN
Jun12 (4wks): 10 lbs (4.54 kg)
Week 74: Missed (Working)
Week 75: Missed (Cheating)
Week 76: 9.5 lbs (4.31 kg) GAIN

It's been another bad 3 weeks. Hit an all time mental low last week that even caused me to avoid going to weigh-in. Work has been busy and stressful. Road bike has been in the bike shop getting repaired, and sad as it is to say, it's made me depressed. (ACHTUNG! "This is an excuse"! - more on this later, hehe) The depression had me comfort eating! Meals have mostly been Slimming World meals, but I had KFC once. My problem has been snacks! I seem to have been too weak to avoid the crisps, chocolates and ice creams over the last 3 weeks!
So, if I must be completely honest, the 9.5 lbs (4.31 kg) gain over the 3 weeks is "low" compared to what it should have been, largely thanks to what has been a fairly good week. I've eventually got myself out regularly on the Mountain Bike as a replacement for the Road Cycling while my Road bikes getting fixed. To be honest I have quite enjoyed it and got gloriously MUDDY! :)

I've proved this to myself over and over again over the last 18 months:
Bad Eating -> Bad Exercising
AND
Bad Exercising -> Bad Eating
.....when 1 of them wobbles, I simply need to focus on the other to make sure I push myself to STRICTLY stick to plan and the wobble quickly corrects itself! Sometimes it's so hard to keep playing the mentally strong, solid steel will power game though....just have to keep myself positive and motivated. I hate that I lose control. I hate even more that I currently weigh more than I did in December last year! :S

On the up side though, on Wednesday the August issue of Cycling Active hit the shops and there was an article on me, my weight loss, and my cycling efforts and how the 2 have helped each other. This was good for a couple reasons:
A) hopefully it will inspire someone to make the change in their life they need to make to head down the path I'm travelling,
B) knowing my blog was mentioned in there has me imagining that there are now thousands of people watching me struggle, which ups the pressure I put on myself to be strong and not FAIL!
C) Reading the article, my comments, thoughts and reflecting on my journey has come just in time to refocus me. Thinking about how far I have come, how close I am, and how I've been hesitating and slipping has changed my attitude. I have been remembering how unhappy that "Jan2011 Duane" was, and how good the "Aug-Dec2011 Duane" was feeling and I seem to have lost him along the way in early 2012 and I am very lucky that I am only revisiting the mental side of "Jan2011 Duane"!

So...I know I have said this a couple times this year, and I seriously hope this is the last time I'm saying this. It may be still a tough road ahead from here, but I'm back on plan at the moment and this time instead of going too crazy and attempting to lose 14 lbs (6.35 kg) a week. Slow and Steady. Back on plan of 100% Food optimising, including 5 to 15 Syns / day and concentrating on keeping my exercise steady. I have some exercise goals in September that are going to require a healthy and fit and thinner than now Duane:

Firstly I have am going back to Brands Hatch for VU Limiteds Cyclothon UK. upto 8 hours of cycling to see how many laps you can do. I expect to do a lot more this year than last. I'm much stronger, fitter and faster than last year. I have a much lighter bike. Climb hills much better, and have managed to put in some much longer rides since then than the amount of time I was able to ride in September 2011. Last year I did 65 km an it took about 3hrs of riding. I have to beat that, convincingly!

Secondly I have my 2nd Half Marathon (Robin Hood/Nottingham) at the end of September. Initially I wanted to break the 2 hr mark for this marathon, but I'm not so sure this is possible anymore. Something has happened to my running fitness. Left leg is constantly playing up and don't have anywhere near the fitness I had in May when I did the Leeds Half Marathon, but I will stick to my training program and see how it goes. I peaked perfectly for Leeds and if I keep focused, can peak perfectly again for Nottingham! Leeds I did in 02:03:41.

Goals achieved this week:
1. Go to Weigh-in ...... NO MATTER WHAT!

Goals for this week:
1. 100% Food Optimising. Count those syns and don't skip them, it will help avoid cravings!
2. Keep cycling every day, even if it is on the Mountain Bike.
3. Keep positive. Don't let the stress and depression creep in! I can do this by exercising regularly!

I'm keeping it simple this week. I've targeted only 2 lbs (0.91 kg) loss this week. Keeping it slow and steady is my current game plan!